TEARING DOWN THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME
It is called the “Imposter syndrome”. Some studies have shown that it disproportionately affects women especially high achieving women all over the world so apparently you are not alone.
The two American psychologists; Dr. Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who coined a name in 1978 for it, described it as a feeling of “phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.
The truth is that so many people exhibit these traits; you should be comforted with the fact that not only does this affect other women; it affects world famous women too.
Renowned writer and poet Maya Angelou is quoted as saying: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’
“There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert. How do these people believe all this about me? I’m so much aware of all the things I don’t know.” Dr. Chan, Chief of the World Health Organization
“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.” – Michelle Pfeifer
“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.” – Kate Winslett.
And the men are not left out on feeling this way too; world class Marketing legend Seth Godin wrote in The Icarus Deception that after a dozen best sellers he still feels like a fraud all the time.
Why does this happen and how can I overcome this you may ask?
It happens because too often than not we do not tend to believe in our abilities. We believe that if it comes naturally and easy for us, then it is not good enough to the world. In fact, the very act of being really good at something can lead us to discount its value. But after spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?
You need to understand the need to recognize and accept your awesome skills and abilities. Stop comparing yourself using other people’s yardstick. Focus on your primary value. Accept that you had a huge role to play in your success, do not dwell on all the times you failed or fell flat on your face, even the best basketball players and footballers miss a shot every once in a while. You do not need to eradicate the feelings, but don’t let them put you down either. Legendary actress Tina Fey says: “The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.”
This is your Monday reminder that YOU are awesome, and YOU are capable of amazing things.