Monday Motivation: Deal with the Trauma that is Stopping You!
Welcome to a brand new week – we’re very excited to finally be in the week of Christmas. And even though around this time of the year, your screens are saturated with holiday content, we want to stop you for a minute.
This year has been quite the one. We got to see the results of the tumultuous year 2020 where self-isolation and quarantine were the words of the day. And we also got to look at life a lot differently. It is safe to say that we had many new experiences that shifted our thoughts on life, family, relationship and work. We mostly now work out of the office, have a new understanding of why we should care for our immune systems and see things a lot differently. But that’s the thing about trauma – it changes you and the way you see things.
Today that’s our focus – Trauma. It is tossed around a bit too freely today, but the reality is that each and every one of us has trauma. These are the long-term effects of the troubles we face each day. It could come from seeing a loved one get sick and die, being hurt by someone we care bout or in a way that truly affects us, or even making a mistake and having to deal with the consequences.
The thing is, those experiences that really stand out to us, have a real effect on us. The memories you have no problem pulling out from your memory bank are often the ones that have a hold. And the thing about trauma is it is great at hiding. It’s like a scar – it may not show on the surface, but underneath your skin, the effect is still there.
In our journey to figuring out how to deal with trauma, we’ve learned a few things we hope to share with you here. One is that everyone has trauma. It can be little or a lot, but it’s there and we all feel its effects. It takes many shapes when it chooses to show itself – from insomnia (lack of sleep) and depression to mood swings and lashing out. The key is being able to sit with yourself and trace the trauma tree from its leaves to its roots.
Another thing we have realized is that one of the only ways to deal with trauma is to let it go. Talk, scream, cry, work out – find an outlet. Did you know that the longer trauma stays within us, our brains start to shrink as a physical response to that trauma. And we don’t know about you but a shrinking brain is never a good sign. Letting that trauma go helps you empty yourself of self-sabotaging behaviour and heal towards being a better you.
Thirdly, a lot of trauma can be traced to our childhood. Do you know those memories from when you were a kid that you can never seem to forget? Chances are those events you have memories from had a very strong impact on you. so strong that even now, you remember tiny details and how you felt. The solution to figuring that out is taking some time to yourself to work out those memories. Why do they stand out? What do you remember about them? How are the feelings they conjure affecting you today? What can you do to deal with these feelings successfully?
Now, this journey to dealing with trauma is not easy – nothing worth doing is. But we are here with you – really! For starters, here are how to deal with trauma in 5 ways that we swear by;
- Breathe: When dealing with trauma, it is important that you breathe through it. Getting into a calm state of mind readies you for the journey in front of you. As you uncover truths and have epiphanies, remain calm because your emotions will be all over the place. Just breathe!
- Be patient: Unearthing trauma is not a 1-day process. It really does take time so you have to be patient with yourself. Take the time to do the work, take notes, pause and think through – deal with it one step at a time.
- Face your feelings: This can be a tough one. When faced with any form of trouble, we either fight or flight. It’s human instinct. As you deal with this trauma, you might feel like running away – avoiding the memories, distracting yourself with Instagram, looking for something to do, entering old patterns again. These won’t help. You need to look those traumatic experiences in the eye and face them. Ask the questions, shed the tears, forgive yourself and release them.
- Find a safe space: Don’t underestimate the power of sharing your feelings. The problem usually is finding the right person to share them with. Look for friends, family, a therapist, someone you trust with your vulnerable side and share your feelings. These go a long way in releasing that burden you carry and creating room for positive feelings.
- Finally, put you first: The great thing about dealing with trauma is you get to see how the expressions of trauma have been limiting you. And now that you see all of that you can do better. So, take the time to love up on yourself for starting this journey, telling yourself the truth, overcoming your trauma and finally putting yourself first.
To help you through this here is something to help you meditate and get into yourself.
We can’t wait to see you blossom and shine like the beauty you are. Remember, the only way to do this wrong is to not do it at all.
Have an amazing week – and Merry Christmas!
Photo Credit: Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels | Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava from Pexels
