Can you love two people at once? That question in itself seems rather selfish and like it’s not a possibility, but in reality, it can definitely happen.
To a lot of people, love means attaching intense feelings to someone. However, it also means blocking out the possibility of anyone else coming into the picture. In society, if someone claims to be in love with more than one person, then it is simply written off as a crush.
Our reality is that for most people, the concept of love outside of your family can only be applied to one person at a time. But how true is that? Is it impossible to be madly, passionately, and intensely in love with more than one person at a time?
According to NYC-based dating coach, Connell Barrett, it’s far from impossible. He says – “You can absolutely fall in love with two people at the same time.” “Walt Whitman was right, you contain multitudes. Someone might bring out your confident, sexy side and you’ll love them for it. A second person might make you feel safe, loved, and deeply connected, and you’ll also fall for that person. Suddenly, your brain is cranking out dopamine for both of them because they make you feel special and loved in different ways.”
However, there’s a clause!
Connell says “…the accidental-seeming aspect of the phrase “fall in love” when it comes to the two-person scenario is still something to call into question.” He explains that love is a choice. You can love someone for who you see them as an honor them as, and love someone else simultaneously for a different but equally resonating attribute. So, you don’t fall in love like it’s an accident, you intentionally open your heart and give yourself permission to feel and be in a state of love. He adds that “Therefore if you are in love with one person, it is up to you to to choose to turn your red light on and turn yourself off to the possibility of being open to letting someone else in.”
So, to the question – can you love two people at once, the answer is yes! Even though society makes loving more than one person at a time nerve-wracking. We are made to feel like loving more than one person is not possible. And most times, it is described as a form of cheating.
So, Dr. Barrett advises that “If you’re in love with two people at once, forgive yourself.” “It simply means you’re human, that two people are both meeting desires you have for connection, love, and companionship. Yes, it’s complicated, but there’s no cause for shame.” And instead of seeing your feelings in a negative light, use it as a sign. It could be that your current realtionship is not satisfying you. In this light you can take a deeper look at your current relationship and fix the potholes that exist.
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