Chick Chat With Connie Girl: “When Your Surprise, Surprises You”

 

Hello Guys! It’s #TalkTuesday A.K.A #ChickChat. I find that it’s important to establish or redefine boundaries in friendships for the relationship to blossom. It is better to enjoy certain friends from a distance without pressure or expectations. #PleaseJudgeThisMatter.

Kike and Shalewa are our two pregnant friends in the group. They are due around the same time so Kike’s bestie Tami, decides to throw a joint baby shower for both friends. Tami created a ‘Baby Shower Group’ and mentioned to ALL that it was going to be a surprise. She went ahead with initial preparations and all and said she would handle convincing Kike and Shalewa. Based on how our friend Kike can be, I told Tami that the surprise may not work and its not a good idea to “last-minute-invite” Kike somewhere because she hardly can be bothered. She is not an outdoor personality and makes no apologies about not fraternising with the crew. She is perfectly fine with iMessage and the occasional calls. I am a home buddy myself so I treat her accordingly and enjoy the occasional milestone event or home visit. Tami on the other hand doesn’t accept this of her friend and keeps making the effort to be nice and pull Kike into coming out or in this case a joint shindig. She went ahead to plan the shower and coordinated food and entertainment with the help of the committee of friends. The shower is coming up this weekend and Tami in conversation asked Kike to keep her Sunday open but she soon starts lamenting on how weak she gets and how tired she is lately so she just wants to rest. At this point Tami comes clean with her and Kike said “Ah, thank you but you should have told me in advance, I planned to really rest and start packing for my trip”. She says she will buy a gift for Shalewa but still maintained she was not able to make it. Tami called me lamenting about how selfish Kike is and she won’t EVER plan anything for her again and why is she using her pregnancy as an excuse. It came as no surprise to me though. Tami has decided Kike is undeserving of the gifts and donations and will give them all to Shalewa.

Do you have any rigid friends like Kike? Is she a selfish friend if she chooses to sit it out and not go? Shouldn’t we take the personalities of our friends into consideration when planning things like surprise parties for them. I avoid being the Tami in most situations but should Kike be obligated to go given the efforts that have been made? Would you judge your friend or will you respect her feelings.