This Commonly Overlooked Trait is a Sign Your Relationship Isn’t the Right One
We all know understanding is one of the things that make any relationship smooth. It’s touted in churches, relationship seminars, counselling sessions, and similar events. It also happens, that very few of us understand how understanding works, and because of this, we do this one thing that builds strain in our relationships.
How often do you kill your partner’s excitement, when he tries to share something that’s trivial, but important to him, with you? It’s not something you do on purpose, but think, how many times have you given a disinterested nod, a look of boredom or a drab “you’re weird,” when he’s sharing the little things that bring him joy?
Now do a reverse; think about all the times you wanted to share those tiny random things you enjoy. Those things that other people see as weird but excite you all the same; maybe it’s a passion for collecting fruit, or joy at the wonders of mathematics, or some other uncommon trait. Think about a time you tried to share them with a regular friend and got dismissed; remember how it hurt. Now imagine the times your partner has done it to you.
It bleeds right?
We know.
These quirky little pleasures are reflections of the deep parts of ourselves. There’s something about them, something beyond words, that makes you feel like you’ve found pieces of your soul, when you partake in them. Which is why, when people – talk less of the person you love – dismiss them as weird or nonsense, it deflates you. Like a part of you has been attacked.
This isn’t to say that all little pleasures are valid, or that you should pretend to be interested in something you’re not or to act normal when things are weird. But then, when your partner tries to share things of this nature with you, there should be a genuine attempt at understanding on your part, and vice-versa. It’s a signal that you’re interested in exploring the mind of the person you want to spend your life with.
If you don’t feel this way at least fifty percent of the time, then it’s a sign too. You’re not with him for him; you’re there for something else. It might not be so bad, if he’s a decent guy, but if you realize that enjoyment is always full when we share it with people we deeply love, you’ll see the flaws. Your relationship might be acceptable, exciting sometimes, but never deep; the safety, the openness and acceptance, that combined, breed intimacy, won’t be there.
And can you say you have a relationship if there’s no intimacy or you can’t bare your soul to the one you love?
