Sex is a very normal part of human experience. It can be a beautiful way of connecting with a partner or simply having safe fun for a night. It’s really up to you. Luckily in 2019 no one is judging…
For must of us, sex is not a problem. For the sex addict, though, it runs much deeper than this. The term sexual addiction is frequently used to describe the problem some people have when they act out sexually in ways they feel they cannot control and which are detrimental to their health, relationships, families and jobs. However, there is no official clinical diagnosis of sex addiction, which only makes the treatment of this particular condition a little troublesome.
Sexual addiction is the umbrella term used to describe the different number of compulsive sexual behaviors including – but not limited to – multiple sexual partners, pornography addiction, paying for sex, and voyeurism, as well as in-person infidelity, online infidelity, online sex and porn addiction. These behaviors, when left unchecked, cause havoc in the addict’s life.
Sex addiction is a widely misunderstood intimacy disorder. It is characterized by destructive sexual behaviors that can have a devastating impact on your life, as well as on the lives of the people around you who care about or depend on you. As a sex addict, sexual urges become overwhelming and almost compulsive and the resultant decisions and actions can be extremely damaging.
Any addiction shares many of the same characteristics of sex addiction, which includes obsessive and intrusive thoughts, preoccupations with sexual urges and/or fantasies; the aim of trying to constantly and repeatedly relive the initial “rush” and “excitement” of getting their “hit” with a new romance can be overwhelming. Many sex addicts also have an insatiable desire for attention and “succeeding” so need to “get” someone to have sex with them and “win”, which is purely to relieve an obsessive urge and nothing to do with a desire to progress a relationship further.
It is definitely true to say that the media we watch/listen to could be a major contributing factor. We get bombarded with adverts selling you a six-pack with a man in a vicarious position standing next to a hot model gaping at him in a sexualized way. And we listen to sexually explicit lyrics in songs and in music videos on YouTube and watch gratuitous sex scenes in television shows and movies. Sex is everywhere, so for the addict this is tricky.
How to get help?
My best advice is to seek help with therapy. Therapy can come in many forms, from 1 on 1, SLA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), inpatient or outpatient rehab or group counseling. Many people feel 1 on 1 therapy is the way forward and the process is about talking and understanding why you are doing what you are doing in order to learn why you have this behavior and look at ways to help you help yourself to change it. Group classes are pretty much the same, as in talking therapy, but also with people around you who understand you, relate to you, who have walked and are walking in your shoes and can share their experiences as a group, which helps you feel less alone at the same time as gaining a better understanding of addiction and how to heal yourself from it.
Source – GQ Magazine UK.
Author -Jacqueline Hurst.
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