Helping a Survivor of Sexual Assault
According to Brittany Piper, a survivor, sexual violence expert, and healing coach, “…when it comes to sexual assault, that first instance of telling your story to someone else will make or break how easy recovery is going to be for you…”
But unfortunately, many people don’t know what to say or do when someone tells them they’ve been sexually assaulted. It doesn’t matter when you are told, it’s important to try your best to respond properly. Here are a few suggestions I consider as good advice:
Allow them to channel the conversation
Just listen to what they have to say. Even if you can’t follow the chronological order of the story, now is not the time and place to question what they’re saying.
Say you believe them.
Survivors are probably questioning themselves and their experience internally, remind them that their experience is valid and that no matter what, they didn’t deserve.
Thank them.
Appreciate the fact that your friend or family member confided in you. It’s not easy for these people to open up, so be honored that they see you as someone
Give them the power to take action or not take action.
Always start with supportive statements and be empathetic with them. Let them know you appreciate them coming to you and you have their back. Then the transition from empathy to action reminds us that there are resources available to aid their recovery. Be mindful to not push it on them, if they aren’t ready to escalate it, let them be.
Remember that every survivor is different.
The truth is, what might help a person isn’t necessarily going to be the same thing that helps another. You need to recognize that its not a “one size fits all” situation. Read social cues and tailor your responses accordingly, the last thing you want is someone who wanted to talk to you leaving disappointed.
In conclusion, some days are definitely going to be harder than others. Victims of sexual assault are exposed to a whole lot of trauma. It can affect a person’s relationships and sense of security in one’s body and in their environment. It’s a mark that stays for life. So, it’s best to tread lightly when around such people.
