“I Am Ready To Be A Grandma”, Adesuwa Onyenokwe Talks Fertility, Motherhood & Marriage With The Fertile Chick!
Veteran publisher & editor in chief of Today’s Woman Magazine and presenter of Seriously Speaking – Adesuwa Onyenokwe, recently sat down with Fertility website, The Fertile Chick to talk about fertility, marriage, wanting grand kids and more!
Read excerpts below.
TFC: As TW Magazine gears up for its 9th anniversary this year, we would like to thank you for such an amazing platform for women. It is one of the few media platforms that have given a voice to infertility issues, and we applaud you for it. Why is the subject of infertility so dear to your heart, considering that you are the poster girl for super-fertility?
AO: Lol at ‘poster girl’! Anyway, as I work towards my 9th year of publishing, I am grateful to God that my aim remains the same, and that you ‘get’ it gives my joy. Today’s Woman is primarily a platform to raise issues concerning women, even as experiences are shared through my life, and the stories we present. Therefore we deal with, and have always dealt with, anything that concerns women. We also aim to build them up; body, mind and spirit. So it was inevitable that anything I find women are dealing with, I get involved in. As far as fertility goes, what many don’t realise is that, the number of kids I have is directly tied to my decision to be open to life. I threw away my contraception, because I was praying for a sister to have her baby. I was into my third child (which really should have been the last, going by my husband and I’s plan), when my brother was two years into marriage without a child, and I started to pray for his wife. What the spirit clearly told me then was “If you can trust me with your finances, why not with your fertility?” So it was that I said “Ok. I will do that, but you have to give my sister a child in exchange for my staying open to life.” and I went further to say, “I will stay open until you give her a child”. It therefore became a covenant of sorts because it was only after my 6th child that she ended up bearing two babies from natural conception, even though they had been trying the IVF route. Today my brother is late, but he is survived by those twins, a boy and girl, who are now 13. So in all things, God sees the end from the beginning. Now you see why fertility issues are dear to me. God is the ultimate designer. He often sees all through, we only have to accede to do His will always… No matter how much pain it brings or how unclear it may seem. Being open to life meant I would have more kids than I could probably care for, and I was sacred. But that didn’t stop me, and I thank God for every single child I have. It was, and has been, tough, but who am I to complain when there are many who would probably ‘kill’ for just one?
TFC: So 6 was not an intentional number?
AO: It turned out I had six, because that’s how long it took to get my wish! And guess what. By the time number six came, my womb literally collapsed, and I thought God had disappointed me… But then I didn’t know my sister was already pregnant. She didn’t know either, because they had then missed out on their next IVF routine. It turns out her twins were due on my birthday, nine months after, but they arrived earlier anyway. So you see that God was totally in control, even though it became only clearer over time.
TFC: Did you face any challenges, especially in the early stage?
AO: Besides finance, time management is one thing a working mother has to deal with, while raising her children. Truth is though, I managed my ‘wants’, when it came to material things, always hoping for the best. In terms of care, with many kids, they often look out for themselves. By the time I was on to number 4, number one was old enough to help, and that’s how we coped. Still, as a working mum, I had to ensure there was always capable and dependable help, and my way around that was to always have two nannies at a time. Eventually I quit my paid job though, to start my own business, simply because I wanted more control of my time.
TFC: Is it much easier, now that they are older?
AO: Certainly! My last is 14, and the oldest is a 27 year old graduate, who I am hoping will make me a Grandma soon 🙂 . Right now, I dread when they will all leave, because I am down to my last two, as every one else is away in school.
Read the rest of the interview HERE