Chick Chat With Connie Girl: To What Extent Can a Partner Defend His Spouse Against Family Members.
Hello Guys! It’s #TalkTuesday A.K.A. #ChickChat. To what extent can a partner defend his spouse and fence off mean family members. When in laws come against a wife or husband it negatively affects the relationship and a lot of words go unspoken in order not to bash family members so openly. What would you do in this situation?
My fiancées mother invited us over for a welcome dinner. We both met abroad and have recently moved home to live in Nigeria. We are both Igbo and have a lot of similarities. I met his mother on occasion when she came to visit in Texas but never got close to her. She seemed nice but she wasn’t warm so I assumed that was her personality and tried to be over polite. I might have even come across as fake because I literally don’t know how to “act”.
Fast forward to us moving back to Nigeria to settle in and plan a wedding, we went to visit his parents and to my surprise it seemed like a mini introduction had been planned. All the sister in laws, aunties and co were in attendance. I again put on my best attitude and made sure my smile was overt and I gave everyone the proper greetings. Dinner was passionately served with his mother raving about this Liver stew the entire family loves and how her son loved eating it while growing up. Ermmm I mentally scratched my head, he has never ordered liver or asked me if I know how to cook it. So how did he “LOVE” eating liver! It was chunks of liver tossed in some leaves and onions (I almost died) served with Yam. I was trained to eat what one is offered but ‘gaddam’ how can I pretend to stomach this. I couldn’t say I was sick because I came in so alive and that could backfire. I managed to swallow the spinach along with the soggy onions which wasn’t too bad but the liver bits were almost a 100 little chunks served on my plate I managed roughly 10 of them and swallowed the slices of yam. My mother-in-law-to-be was watching me and soon asked if I thought it was tasty. I replied “It’s delicious ma’am but I do not really like liver” Then my fiancé spoils it by saying “really, how can you not love it” he grabs my plate and helps me eat the rest (I could have kissed him right there)
We were supposed to be planning the introduction but a few weeks after I sensed his family dragging their feet. His aunties and mom think I am snobbish and stuck up and their son can’t marry me if I don’t know how to humble myself and eat what I’m given. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this.
They cooked it out of love but why not something general like fish, meat or chicken at least. I don’t like LIVER! My fiancé was at first supportive but it seems the family has come together in numbers and have influenced him and have introduced other more “traditional” women to him. I’ve noticed his behaviour has changed and he is avoiding wedding talk. I find it all so silly over Liver but there is a weird distance I do not like. We were so happy before this. I know he loves me but he is feeling the pressure of being back in Lagos. Do I take this as a sign of a troublesome home or go ahead and marry him. He started defending me but I think the bigger issue is they just wanted him to marry a girl from his hometown and not one from overseas. Should he be defending me more or should I take this as just stress? Btw, my mom thinks I should have eaten the liver even if it killed me and there is bigger fish to fry when it come to in laws and I should never give them any reason to hate me. So my lack of local sense is completely exposed here. Isn’t this pretending though? What if she starts cooking Liver every week. Do you ladies agree with my mom?