#iDeyWithHer Ep 8: When Does Discipline Turn into Child Abuse? TW Chats with Blessing & Onyedikachi

May 25, 2021

It’s time for another episode of #iDeyWithHer!

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself where the line should be drawn when it comes to discipline? We hear phrases like “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child” and “My parents beat me and I turned out okay” often, but where is the line? What differentiates applying tough love from child abuse when it comes to raising our kids?

In the United States of America, laws are put in place to restrict parents from physically harming their children, and we see these same kids grow up to be both sane and not so sane. In Nigeria, where physical discipline is accepted and practised, we see the same. So it begs the question – What role does discipline play in the grand scheme of things? Is it an evergreen necessity or an ancient practice?

In the recent episode of #iDeyWithHer with the Spotlight Initiative, we sat with 2 individuals with firsthand experience with Psychology and child abuse – Author of “Of Love and Bruises” Blessing Douglas and the Founder of The Post Partum Support Network Africa, Onyedikachi Ekwerike. Together they explain the thin line between loving your child and bruising your child, how our own frustrations play a role and how to challenge all of that.

Nuggets from the episode

Some African parents lack the emotional stability to raise children. It is important to understand ourselves emotionally first before we embark on parenthood.
Before you discipline your child, ensure you are correcting and not assaulting. The aim is to correct the situation, not harm the child.
Because a parent physically disciplines a child does not mean that parent doesn’t love the child. However, there are more effective ways to do that without the use of a ‘rod’.
Schools need to ensure Psychological help is available to children, especially those who live in abusive environments.
Take out the time to evaluate the source of your frustrations before you discipline your child. Sometimes you may be looking for a target for your anger/frustrations that cannot fight back without knowing it.

Watch below and share your thoughts;