How do You Say I Love You? Find Out Your Love Language Right Here!

May 22, 2021

Do you know your love language? A lot of times, we end up misinterpreting how people show us they love us because we simply do not understand their love language. And they don’t understand ours either. So, imagine how easy loving and living will be if we knew our love language and were able to explain it to those around us?

So allow us to walk you through the 5 love languages that exist so you can learn more about yourself and those around you!

What is a Love Language?

In 1995, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book titled The 5 Love Languages. The book sparked a new way of thinking about love.

The five love languages describe the way we feel loved and appreciated. It proposed that depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved differently than how our partners do. And sought to now help its readers understand & decode these different ways of showing love to help take the guesswork out of your partner’s expectations and needs.

According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These love languages are not only present in romantic relationships, but in family, friendships, and even leadership!

In this post, we will be summarizing the five love languages and we hope that after reading this post, you would be able to identify your love language.

The languages

Words of Affirmation

For people whose love language is words of affirmation, words speak louder than action. They love unsolicited compliments and pet names, and cherish hearing “I Love You”. People who fall in this category also do not take insults lightly and arguments involving name-calling might be harder for them to get over.

How they show love

People with this love language might especially love receiving love notes, good morning/good night text messages, and frequent compliments. (Obviously, the more personalized and genuine the words, the better. People whose language is words of affirmation appreciate creativity too!)

Acts of Service

When it comes to Acts of Service, love is shown not told. When their partner or loved one does something helpful for them, they take it as proof that they love them by making life easier for them.

How they show love

If this is your partners love language, consider preparing food for them, doing a tedious household chore (without being asked to) or finally ask the Landlord to fix the toilet. Most of these tasks are relatively simple and even easy, but to them, it’s the thought that counts.

Receiving/Giving Gifts

Sometimes this love language gets a bad rap, coming off as a bit materialistic, but for people whose love language is receiving gifts, it’s less about dollar value (usually) than it is about thoughtfulness. This type loves to receive & give presents that show them that attention is being paid. They’re likely to take birthdays and anniversaries seriously, which might put the pressure on a bit for partners who don’t celebrate similarly.

How the show love

Sometimes it’s as easy as giving or receiving flowers, or a favorite food. But people in this group will be particularly touched by a memento or souvenir that reminds them of a favorite place or vacation taken together. People who date this group might do well to keep a little list of gift ideas when they drop hints.

Quality Time

Quality time is another term for attention. This group is most touched by time spent with their partners, whether at home or out on dates. Most people are annoyed when their partners are constantly on their phones, but for this group, it’s maddening. People in this category want to know that their partners are interested in what they have to say, how they’re feeling, and what they want to do with their time.

It would be worthwhile to note that they are likely to be hurt if they don’t feel listened to. So pay attention if this describes your partner.

How they show love

Put plainly, this one’s about putting in the time. This group is likely to appreciate a thoughtful, well-planned date (even, and maybe especially, if it’s without leaving the house). Particularly one that allows the couple to talk, make eye contact, and share a new experience.

Physical Touch

Now, this may come off as sexual, but for those who have Physical Touch as their love language, it is more than sex. They like being touched, caressed, massaged and so on. Holding their hands, playing with their hair, getting their back rubbed when they’re sad or feel sick goes a very long way. They love hugs and kisses, and when their partner isn’t as physically demonstrative, they can feel lonely and unloved.

How they show love

The main thing to remember here is to treat your partner like someone you’re still excited to be around. This can be as simple as trailing your hand over their back when you pass them in the kitchen or remembering to give them a kiss every time they head to work. Getting sexy together is great, but so is playing footsie on the couch when you’re watching your favourite TV show at the end of the night.

In the end, knowing your love language and that of your partner, helps you serve each other. And if you’re not sure, you can share this post with them and allow them to tell you.