#ithappenedtome Egbon! You can’t be in love with me

 

I have kept this to myself for a long time. I am reluctant to talk about this because hearing my thoughts out loud will make this nightmare real and I’m not ready for that but a series of event have forced me to confront this situation.

My name is *Bisi*I live with my best friend’s elder brother and his family; I have been staying with them for about four years. The relationship is quite complicated but I refer to him as egbon. His wife and I have a great bond and his children call me aunty.

Egbon and I have been close even before he got married. I am practically an adopted member of my friend’s family, and that was how we became close. Egbon is the older brother I never had and even though he is much older than I am, we were really close. The bond I shared with him grew stronger when he got married and his wife and I are very close.

After my parent’s separation, I started spending weekends and school holidays at their place. I moved in fully after I graduated and I only visit my home every other weekend.

 We are this close knit big happy family; everybody refers to me as his little sister only few know the real relationship between us. His children love me, his wife adores me and I equally love them. One big happy family I said right? So I thought.

Three months ago I woke up at night with a start to find someone feeling me up, I was shocked to see it was my egbon. I got up in shock and he left the room immediately. I stood up from the bed confused at what just happened. He came in and whispered he was sorry, he begged me to hear him out. He told me in hushed tones that he didn’t plan to have sex with me; he only wanted to touch me. He told me how he had always been in love with me, how he couldn’t hold back, how he’s seen all of me and how he loves all of me. 

I sat in shock listening to what he was saying confused at how I could have missed it. I wondered if it was something I had done, if somehow I had given off the vibe that I was interested in him. 

I sat there listening to him talking, all the while hearing the sound of his wife’s breathing in the other room. I told him I wasn’t okay or comfortable with what he was saying especially with his wife in the next room. He asked that we meet up somewhere in the morning to discuss. I went back to bed, I lay staring at the ceiling my mind boggled by what just happened.

We didn’t have the sit-down he proposed; I have been thinking of leaving but don’t know how to do that without raising suspicions. He’s been carrying on like nothing happened; I have been doing my best to stay out of his way avoiding him like a plague.

I have no idea what to do, telling his wife is out of the question but I am not okay, I feel dirty and violated even though nothing happened, I feel like a traitor for keeping this from her. But he seems fine pretending like nothing happened.

How is it that I have all of this guilt to deal with for actions I did not commit or ask for and he is fine? Please help.