The Joy of Submission By Kemi Akande
Sex is a form of creative power; it is the creative aspects where we find ourselves feeling more alive, fully human and connected.
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the shelves and sold more than 40 million copies worldwide, it has been clear that women are now more open to talking and reading about sex as well as exploring a more adventurous side.
In case you have missed the latest book that all mums around the world have been gossiping about, here is the low down: The Fifty Shades trilogy—consists of three books which convey the passionate love affair between a Anastasia Steele, a college virgin and the mysterious rich and good looking Christian Grey who just so happens to be into BDSM (B – Bondage and Discipline. D – Domination and Submission. S – Sadism. M – Masochism). BDSM involves restraint, sensory stimulation, and role-playing.
As you may have gathered, it is this generation’s Mills and Booms. The Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon is sending married women into a frenzy and at the same time exposing one of those untouchable hitherto taboo controversial fetishes. Now people couples can deem view whips and handcuffs as a fun, intimate way to keep the candle burning in the bedroom.
Here are top ways to bring some ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ into your bedroom.
Talk that talk – Sex Therapist Stanley Ducharme, Ph.D. says that “[m]ost women enjoy a man who will take the time to ask and learn what turns her on. They want to know that their pleasure is an important issue for the man as well.” Communication is very important, not only in terms of verbalizing what turns you on your desires.
You could also widen the boundaries of your love life by talking ‘dDirty’’ and/or reading an exotic novel to build and increase sexual anticipation. Sex expert Dr. Oz suggests, “Ultimately, one of the reasons “Fifty Shades” is so great is that it was about honesty and transparency in a relationship, and that communication and discussion make for better sex.”
Foreplay noveaux – Most men spend five to ten minutes on foreplay with only kissing and touching before they go straight in. Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria prefers men that take charge and has stated, “I’m also not averse to being tied up with silk scarves.” Some light bondage adds spice to foreplay because “when you’re bound, you’re at the mercy of your partner’s urges,” preaches sex therapist Dr. Gloria Brame. “That supercharges her the excitement.”
Role Play – Dressing up as someone else is an easy way to enact all your secret fantasies. Try being a doctor and a patient or a teacher and student. It is fun to dress up, do a striptease and pretend to be someone else. You could also try a striptease routine or explore role reversal-, women are usually the submissive
he’swhile the man is in control, s. So let him discover the joy of submission. Dominate like Be a dominatrix. Author Lauren Frances in Experiment With Bondage articulates, “Consensual light bondage can really spice up a couples sex life”.
Outside the Box – The most common sexual position is the romantic missionary, the comfortable standard.
However, it’s time to switch things up. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. a sex and relationship expert says most of her clients “seem surprised when they realize that they have to work hard on the erotic side of the relationship to keep it alive and sexy.”. Stephanie Coontz, the author of “A Strange Stirring,” which examines the rise of feminism and the changing status of women throughout the 1950s and 1960s, said that although women have for centuries fantasized about submission to a dangerous man, it’s a cultural construct.
Try playing submissive to the kinkiest of commands with your partner.” Don’t be afraid to be a little kinky, whilst discovering each other, different positions and spontaneous locations.
Bringing kink into love – It’s easier to maintain passion than it is to rekindle it. Resist advances, play hard to get, play fight, and let the other person work to get it. Scratch each other and use your nails, ever heard of sweet pain? Sometimes, pain can bring more pleasure. Ellie Krieger in Enjoy ‘Foods That Are Aphrodisiacs’ says that the way we eat can also stimulate the sex drive” Bring food into bed-; whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate syrup are fun play foods that will really sweeten things up.
