#ChickChat With Connie Girl: My “Friend” Is Giving Me The Run Around.
Hello Guys! It’s #ChickChat.
How do you handle people giving you the run around when you ask for a favour? Are people generally lackadaisical when there is ‘nothing in it for them’? Where do you draw the line between pride vs going for what you want?
I’ve been chasing my friend of about 5 years around for someone’s contact info and a referral. I moved back to Nigeria a year ago but I have been in Abuja working and running an event service business on the side. I recently moved to Lagos to expand my event company. She works in a bank and had mentioned to me when we discussed my move that she would introduce me to the head of procurement at her bank and put me in touch with her contacts at other companies as well so I can be listed as a go to vendor.
I kind of assumed this was easy for her to do as she seemed so supportive when I communicated my plans. Granted I had my own plans when I moved, I still rely on referrals at this early stage. It has been one thing after the other for the last 5 weeks. It’s been me calling, texting and calling her again. I’ve sent so many reminder texts I feel like a nuisance. I get auto replies like ‘call me back’ ‘Sorry, in a meeting I can’t talk right now’. I have never asked her for a favour and I went based on her lead. She mentioned if I needed any help or advice or connects with people I shouldn’t hesitate to ask her. I’m not asking her for money but simply a referral for my services and she seems to be acting ‘funny’. When I finally got her on the phone she said she was sorry and it has been a hectic couple of weeks blah blah. Once again, she kept me in the loop of expectation. My intuition is telling me, this ‘friend’ of mine may have no intention to fulfill my desire.
I have been successful with the event services in Abuja but I am a small fry in Lagos and want to penetrate the corporate market. I have joined a few networking groups and attending conferences and some seminars but they all weren’t useful. From what I gather, the who you know approach is the faster way in Lagos. Right under my nose, jobs were taken from me by competitors because someone knew the client and I didn’t. I spoke to a mutual friend who couldn’t understand why our dear friend was dragging her feet. She reckons the girl is a hater and I should stop acting naive and cut her off. I was about to send her a firm message addressing how I felt but I hesitated. Her intentions may be well but maybe the timing is not right.
Should more people learn to say NO straight up or is it better to soften the blow so people get the hint and move on. How do you handle when people you are familiar with ‘post’ you? Is this ‘friend’ a hater?