A Father’s Role in a Healthy Parent-Child Relationship
Growing up, my dad, like most Nigerian dads at the time were like idols; too high up to reach, too sacred to be replied.
I typically grew up listening and never speaking as no opportunity was ever given for explanations. This angered me, I disliked him and dreaded his return from work, it was almost like his return took the peace away from our home. For one, my mother was different when he was around and once we heard the horn from his car, we would change the TV channel to something scientific or better still, a news channel, as it was forbidden for us to watch movies-it was a waste of our brain.
As I grew older, I realized his flaws and that he didn’t hate us but only fathered the way he understood. He was clearly socialized to believe father’s show no weakness, condone no errors. This didn’t make me like him any better than I did; in fact, I became indifferent about him.
He’s over 60yrs now and retired. He randomly calls me and says I’ve forgotten him or abandoned him and I find this really strange. I now love my dad as expected of any child but unfortunately I have no relationship with him.
I recently had a conversation with a 20-year-old who spoke so fondly of his dad. He’s actually buddies with his father. He says his dad is very vulnerable with him and isn’t ashamed to say sorry when he’s wrong, or ask for his advice/input.
I went away feeling really jealous of their bond, wishing things were better in my case.
I hope young fathers take this as a lesson on their fatherhood journey.
I believe once there’s life, there’s hope so I’m working on salvaging what’s left from the relationship with my dad. If you’re in my shoes too, its never too late to start.
What’s your relationship like with your dad? Kindly share your greatest learning’s from the relationship.
Please drop your comments below.
