Chick Chat with Cornelia O’Dwyer: My Husband Won’t Apply For A Green Card For Me. Is He Shady?
Hello Guys! It’s #TalkTuesday A.K.A #ChickChat.
Should one be suspicious of a controlling husband if he refuses to file for my green card? Should this be an automatic expectation in marriage? #TWLife #TWChickChat
My hubby is a US citizen and I’m Nigerian. We have been married for 7 years so far and live in Lagos. I made immigration a taboo topic for the first two years of marriage and didn’t bring it up because I felt it may sound opportunistic. We had other growing pains we were working through and that was not important. He is a responsible husband whose expression of love is provision. He takes care of rent, school fees, travel, and household affairs. I haven’t had reason to complain in those areas. In travelling, I have been fairly lucky with visas in fact we met at a lounge at the airport. I research the bulk of activities for the family travels, (destinations, camps and holiday schedules) as he can’t ever stay too long because of work. I asked him before I got pregnant with our first child if he could start my green card process so I can sort the documentation I need. He said “ok” with a reluctant tone and became moody, rude and unapproachable for the next couple of weeks. I reminded him again 3 months later and he said he was taking care of it. I love him very much and didn’t marry him for his immigration status but I don’t know what this is. What’s the big delay for? Two years later, I took matters into my own hands and got all the documentation and whilst having sex I made him commit to the green card petition process which he agreed to wholeheartedly do. Now it’s time for the interview and he has refused to go and claims he is tied at work. I cancelled the first one and now the district office is requesting a legitimate reason for cancellation and we must reschedule within 60days. It would look suspicious showing up without a spouse and the application could be denied. In anger I lashed out and called him selfish and told him he might as well divorce me now and he needs to quit dangling the carrot. He ignored me and pulled the “is that what you married me for card”
I’m starting to resent the fact that he seems comfortable with me being the only one having to sort out visa issues and watching me go through. I was denied a European Visa recently and we are on baby number two.
Now my question is, should I feel a certain type of way if my husband refuses to apply for me? Does this mean he doesn’t truly Love me or perhaps this shouldn’t be an expectation of mine in marriage?