If you live in Lagos, the city that never sleeps, you might have at one point or the other entered the yellow and black automobile AKA ‘danfo’.

Almost every Lagos bus has a conductor, hanging off the top of the bus to beckon on passengers with the names of the location they are headed which is usually chopped off syllables of the actual location, so you might hear ‘balende , falomo’,’lekki , chisco, ‘kate wole’ or ‘sanfield, semes’ .You should be quick on your feet to make out what  that these locations truly stand for ‘Obalende, Falomo, Lekki, Chisco, Ikate, Sandfield, CMS

The yellow and black automobile is arguably the most popular across the megacity, usually with a 16-18 seating capacity with two seats in front close to the driver, mind you those are the most comfortable seats.

It is worthy to note that every bus has its unique set of passengers but the following are very typical of any Lagos bus:

THE PREACHER:

As soon as the bus is ready to take off, there is usually this brother or sister that clears their throat and starts off with the famous ‘Praaaiiiseee the Lord’ Once you hear those words, just prepare to get your gospel on. They commence with praise and worship, the exhortation which might last the entire trip. if you are lucky you won’t be asked to sow a seed.

THE SNOOZERS:

A number of people are out quite early in the morning, in order to beat the traffic so it’s understandable if you feel like catching some ‘zzzzzzz’ before you get to your destination. But if you are going to sleep, it is advisable you sleep with a bit of swag. Some passengers forget that the person sitting next to them is flesh and blood and not a mattress, they lean on you with reckless abandon and dump their lack of sleep on your shoulders. No matter how much you nudge them, they just won’t budge.

THE SWEATY FELLOW:

The sweat glands are really great because they produce sweat which cools the body down and gets rid of any excess salt in the body. But some people are blessed with an overly functional sweat gland and they make it their sole ambition in life to let the less fortunate around them know what they’re missing out on.There is always that one person in a Lagos bus that tries their best to rub their DNA on you, so if you think you can enter a danfo smelling fresh and fruity, like a dozen exotic flowers and leave smelling the same, you definitely have another thing coming. Get ready to say hello to your new scent which is a mix of stale sweat, an acrid smell of engine oil with a whiff of carbon monoxide.

THE MOTHER WITH A DOZEN KIDS:

See Also

Cardi B Sues For Defamation.

You entered the bus single and without children and suddenly you are approached by a mother with many children to go round. you move your legs in a bid to make room for her and her children to sit comfortably on the one seater next to you when suddenly you hear; ‘sister, please help me lap my son, he’s your younger one o ‘ and you dare not say no before the aunties in the bus start saying you’re wicked and you will have a son like him tomorrow.

THE WARRIOR:

There is always someone battling the conductor over lack of change or the state of the money. Everybody knows that the 100 Naira note most especially has gone through a lot in the hands of Nigerians and as such has become a shadow of itself.b But some people won’t stop until the conductor provides them with mint currency straight from the Central Bank of Nigeria and we all know that this won’t happen without the conductor hurling out insults on the passenger.

Did we leave any group out? What are you bus chronicles kindly share