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Is Your Feminism Still Valid if You Say Only Men Should Propose?

Is Your Feminism Still Valid if You Say Only Men Should Propose?


If there’s one word that has been tossed around loosely nowadays its Feminism. It seems like every Bimpe, Nkechi and Habiba claims to be a feminist because that’s the “pro-woman” thing to do. But the big question is – do we know what the word ‘Feminism’ really means.

For those who might be struggling with this, I’ll lend some words from two women who undoubtedly put the word on the map – Beyonce and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

In an interview with ELLE, Beyonce said;

I’m not really sure people know or understand what a feminist is, but it’s very simple. It’s someone who believes in equal rights for men and women. I don’t understand the negative connotation of the word, or why it should exclude the opposite sex.

Beyonce, ELLE Magazine

Chimamanda went ahead to give her definition as;

My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

From these 2 definitions, it’s clear to see that Feminism, or being called a Feminist, does not mean existing without a man, choosing to not get married, opting for single parenthood or having a problem with men opening the door for you or doing you favours. It is both men and women having equal opportunities to succeed, be recognized for work well done, remuneration and access to resources etc.

That being said, I have a question that can be applied to may circumstances, but I will highlight just one. Do you think it is Anti-Feminist to say only a man can propose?

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I watched a snippet of Ebuka Obi-Uchendu’s show, Rubbin Minds where he had Teni the entertainer as a guest. When asked about her opinions on Feminism, and a controversial tweet where she called out fake Feminism, she asked why we think only men can propose. And I’m asking the same thing. Is Feminism across the board – chivalry, paying bills, providing for the home etc or does it just apply to certain areas where women are considered to be “at-risk” like employment, access to funds etc?

Needless to say, a conversation between Teni and Pete Edochie would be very interesting to watch, but the question still remains, where does Feminism end? Does it have an end? Does it apply in some cases and not in others? Can a woman propose to a man without having “people” ask why she is doing something only a man should do? Are there certain constructs that are reserved for men, like kneeling to propose (looking over my shoulder) and providing for the home and others for women like raising children and cooking. We’ve seen over the years that both sexes are capable of all these tasks, but should it be more across the board or are those exceptions to the rule?

Share your thoughts!

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