#ithappenedtome PAST HURTS AND MOVING ON

 

Hello TW readers, my name is *Salewa. I was so happy when I heard about this new series. It is such a great initiative. I read the lady’s story last week and was pained for her.

My situation is a bit different; I met my husband *Tunde a few years ago, for us it was love at first talk so to speak. He was the man of my dreams. That is cheesy I know but I have always been very clear about what I wanted in a man even before I met my husband, it was easy for us to grow in love because he exceeded all I had envisaged. He asked me to be his wife, I promptly accepted because there was not a shred of doubt in my mind, I was ready to walk the rest of my life with him.

With a proposal comes marriage which automatically meant marriage preparations and family introductions. *Tunde had previously met my sisters early on in our relationship but I took him home for an official introduction to meet my parents. My mother welcomed him with open arms and my father was all too pleased to call him son. They liked him instantly. He passed the unofficial meet the parents test with flying colors and I heaved a sigh of relief. It was important for my parents to accept him; their opinion matters to me a lot.

Next stop on the family introductions was *Tunde’s family so we made plans to go visit them. His mother had passed away years before we met so I was going to be introduced to his father, aunties and siblings. I did my best to be presentable as I was meeting them for the first time and like they say first impressions matter a lot.

The introduction went okay, my father in law warmed up to me, he was kind and accepted me, and I in took a liking to him instantly. My husband’s aunt was a bit less receptive. She was openly critical of me, asking me questions about my background and beliefs. *Tunde was born and raised in the Catholic faith and his aunt made it clear that if Tunde’s mother had been alive I wouldn’t have had a chance especially because I wasn’t “catholic”. I was brought up as a Baptist but I felt like I was under attack for being Baptist.

Tunde and I are happily married now, this same aunt plays the role of mother in law, so I see her more often than I would like. I know I shouldn’t hold a grudge, the holy book says to forgive and forget seventy seven times seven times and I have. But every now and then I find that I take a trip down memory lane to that day long ago when I was made to feel like I was not enough because I wasn’t catholic. How do I go from there? Has any other woman experienced this?

*Not their real names to protect the identity of the writer.