For years unending, wives who lost their husbands have had to go through terrible experiences unimaginable. Not only do they have to deal with the pain of losing a loved one, or the unwritten stigma that comes with being a widow, some of them also have to go through abuse at the mercy of their in-laws harping on barbaric traditions and culture.
In 2010, Mrs. Sandra Oyewole was inspired to start a non-profit group that would engage in projects to inspire members of the society that needed support.
Mrs. Sandra’s idea was to write an inspirational book for women going through pain as a result of the death of their husbands. Her approach was to put together a message of hope in the form of a tool book or guide as it were for widows and the general public.
The book which is titled “Through the Fire” aims to bring the plight of widows in Nigeria to attention of all, provide comfort to widows and those who have lost a loved one, provide emotional, financial and legal tools to widows and all readers and encourage everyone to plan for the inevitable; Death.
The book was launched last year, and has since received critical acclaim and reviews. It contains 31 stories in all, as well as other content that covers the emotional impact, the financial and legal aspects amongst other things was launched last year to great success and acceptance. It not only focuses on the plight of widows, it also provides a little insight into how children and parents are affected by the loss of a father and son. It also provides useful information for widowers as well.
Ebun Feludu whose work is centered on women was contracted to conduct the interviews with the widows. She recalls that even though she was no stranger to widow’s plight, it didn’t make the job any easier. Here is what she had to say;
“When I got contacted by Sandra Oyewole to interview and write the stories of 30 widows, I knew the task was right up my alley. My father died when I was 8. He had retired from NEPA and relocated the family to the US two years prior. My mom had stopped working and very suddenly she became the sole care giver and provider for 6 children in a foreign country. We moved back to Nigeria soon after my father’s death and I watched as my mom lived in the shadows of her old life. I lived through her loss, her shock, depression and alienation from the people she used to call friends. My father’s death changed her life’s trajectory completely.
The women I interviewed for “THROUGH THE FIRE” had similar stories. I had the extension of my mom’s experience to help me connect with each of them. It was a harrowing experience because I walked with these women through their worst nightmares.”
A few testimonies from readers are quoted below:
Audrey Joe Ezigbo puts it rightly “A must read for everyone. Not a book for only women, I assure you. It’s for every man who loves his mother, sisters, daughters, friends. Serious food for thought about what the fate of every precious woman in your life has to deal with unless we intentionally empower them and fight the archaic systems that have enabled the gross mistreatment of widows. Please get several copies and spread this message. God bless you richly as you do”.
Reviewing the book at its launch, Mrs. Morin Desalu had this to say:
…….”THROUGH THE FIRE is a well-written well-structured book with 230 pages that opens your eyes to what really happens in our society. The book is well bound and light in your hand, the paper is great quality and you just keep reading. It will keep you engrossed. It is not heavy-going; it is mainly in short stories as told by the widows themselves. The words printed on pages 101 to 113 are worth ten times their weight in gold, the street sense, wisdom and financial literacy lessons therein surpass whatever you may pay today for this book. There are too many grey areas surrounding death, we all need to learn the facts. Reading this book, you will be able to answer some of these questions. What is dying estate? Proper Title to property? Type of marriage contracted? In what jurisdiction? Proper Estate Planning? Drawing up a will? Executing a will? This is a textbook that sets you up for self-examination. THROUGH THE FIRE is a must read, buy your copy, gift to friends and keep some ready to give out to someone when they are bereaved. This is the reality check that women need in 2016. Read the book twice. It’s a manual that’s not only for widow’s but a handy manual one can use to plan with whether you’re a widow or not. Thank you for the foresight to write it the way it’s presented. God bless you richly. I thank the Addo team on behalf of the people of Nigeria for this labour of love which will benefit our society even after we are all gone. The Lord bless you all for this”
We encourage you to have a copy of this book as it provides invaluable knowledge for all. It is sold in all major book stores nationwide