Hashtag #Goandmarry flooded social media this weekend when news of the Banana Island mansion acquired by celebrity blogger, Linda Ikeji, made headlines.
The news spilled by the blogger’s younger sister, Laura, who was super excited by the new property acquisition, whose market value is rumored to be anywhere between 600 – 800 million naira. The reason behind the social media frenzy is not the dreamy white mansion however, rather people seem more focused on an entirely different topic: should an unmarried lady be so financially independent?
It seems the dream of every girl should be the moment when Prince Charming drops on one knee to pop the question and she flutters down the aisle in a big, white dress. I have used the term, ‘should be’ because this is the word of choice used by someone when they are about to dish out unsolicited advice that you really don’t want to hear. Thanks to nagging mothers/aunties, raging hormones and Hollywood, the most significant achievement of thefemale species has been reduced to the two-second moment it takes to say ‘I do’.
A million reasons have been given why a woman should get married and get married on time, ranging from fading beauty, to the ticking biological clock, and the shortage of supply in the male market. The originators of these beliefs would probably ‘hiss’ in disapproval if they heard that a single woman spent 600 million Naira ($3 Million) on a house. Which brings me to the question: what exactly makes this wrong on Linda’s part?
Point one: it is exorbitant spending. Hello…..is it your money? The average Nigerian wouldn’t spend N600m on accommodation, but this doesn’t mean we should crucify those who can afford to. As long as the money is legitimately hers, why should we kill ourselves over another’s financial decisions?
Point two: announcing it on social media is showing off. Some people would say that you have a choice what news you choose to read on the media. Again, some would advocate that such ‘big’ events be kept low-key to avoid unnecessary situations such as this one, secuirity or the rampant Nigerian bad belle.
Point 3 and the most controversial one: display of such wealth would dissuade potential suitors. This is as absurd as it sounds. As with all things African, it seems the male ego must reign supreme, even in matters of finances. Therefore, women must earn lower or spend less than their spouses to ‘keep peace in the home’ and single sisters shouldn’t live too expensively or look too high maintenance in order to improve their chances of snagging a brother. Of course, this is only ‘common sense’ and for the good of all single ladies….no, it has absolutely nothing to do with the twisted mentality of the society or the men themselves. In case you didn’t get the sarcasm there, whoever thinks this way must be high on an overdose of testosterone or just got of the bus from a village in the middle of nowhere.
How does it even make any sense that love or marital ties be dependent on an account balance that is not perceived as threatening? Please note that the sole argument here is the sex of the individual, not the house itself, or flaunting it on social media. Therefore, it wouldn’t have posed any problem had Linda been a man. Honestly, the marriage market may just lose its appeal if women have to tie their purse strings in order to get in.
With respect to the institution of critics who believe that ‘less is more’ where women are concerned, kindly enjoy the gist while it lasts and then move on to the next hot topic, because women will never succumb to miserliness, nor apologise for their account balance in the name of love….or a seriously warped version of it.
Written by Khadijat Bello